


A Paid Troublemaker

by bunnybrook



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Kid!Lock, minor crimes, really freaking cute okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-19
Updated: 2012-12-19
Packaged: 2017-11-21 13:47:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/598424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bunnybrook/pseuds/bunnybrook
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'Consulting Criminal' was a stretch, even now, when he was stealing and hurting people. No, Jim was saving 'Consulting Criminal' for when he was doing real crimes and there was a real prison he might be sent to and there was a real detective chasing after him.</p><p>For now, he was merely a 'Paid Troublemaker.' He had business cards and a (makeshift) office and everything. He even had a bodyguard, a taller boy in grade six named Sebastian. Sebastian was nice, though he was stupid, like all the other kids, but not as stupid. He didn't like hitting Jim, like pretty much everyone else in the world, he liked hitting other people.</p><p>And sometimes they held hands, but that was only when no one was watching.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

'Consulting Criminal' was a stretch, even now, when he was stealing and hurting people. No, Jim was saving 'Consulting Criminal' for when he was doing _real_ crimes and there was a _real_ prison he might be sent to and there was a _real_ detective chasing after him.

For now, he was merely a 'Paid Troublemaker.' He had business cards and a (makeshift) office and everything. He even had a bodyguard, a taller boy in grade six named Sebastian. Sebastian was nice, though he was stupid, like all the other kids, but not as stupid. He didn't like hitting Jim, like pretty much everyone else in the world, he liked hitting other people.

And sometimes they held hands, but that was only when no one was watching.

Jim's 'office' was in an empty lot somewhere in between his house and Sebastian's. Sebastian had to walk farther to get there, which was better, Jim supposes, since if he had been the one who had to walk farther then mum and da might not let him go.

There was a tree in the empty lot that Jim had nailed a cardboard sign to. It how his title and his full name on it. 'James Moriarty. Paid Troublemaker.' There was also a drawing of a gun that Sebastian had done in the corner of the sign but Jim had tried to erase it. ("We don't kill people, 'Bastian. At least not yet")

It was the weekend. Jim and Sebastian had made a silent agreement to go to the empty lot on weekends, that was usually when they got their customers, though people didn't come to them often. They had a few regulars who just liked to watch the chaos that Jim could cause and would rather not be the center of attention if they got found out, Jim charged them extra (though they didn't know it).

It was raining on the Saturday, rainy days were always the best. Sebastian would bring an umbrella and Jim would wear his boots and the ugly yellow rain jacket that mum had brought home one day and Sebastian would stomp in the mud and Jim would sit in the tree and watch him get muddy.

"Doesn't your mum get mad when you do that?" Jim called from the tree, his feet dangling at least a meter the ground.

Sebastian kicked a rock and sent mud flying. He looked up at Jim and shrugged. "Nah, mum doesn't get mad about anything."

Jim blinked a few times, wondering how that was possible, but didn't say anything else. _His_ mum threw fits all the time, Jim had to be perfect even though her and da were far from it.

"No one's coming," Sebastian said after a while. "Can't we just go to the sweets shop and go home?"

Jim shook his head. He was actually expecting someone who had come to him after school one day. Jim had told him to come by his office on the weekend and the boy had eagerly agreed.

"You know… I think his name is Isaac or something stupid," Jim called over the rain to Sebastian, who looked up and cocked his head to the side, listening. He nodded.

"Yeah, I know him. He's really annoying and I think they're holding him back this year," Sebastian answered and Jim giggled.

"He talked to me earlier in the week and he's supposed to be coming here," Jim announced, jumping down and nearly getting mud on his pants. "Do you know where he lives?"

Sebastian thought a moment, then shook his head, which was convenient enough because Isaac came slipping around the corner across the street, stopping and looking around wildly for a moment before spotting Jim and Sebastian and dashing across the street.

"I… I really don't have any time," Isaac panted. "But, uh, I have three and a half pound and I want you to ransack my friend's sister's bedroom. She's being really horrible to him and I want to help him."

Jim looked at Sebastian and grinned. They'd never done a break in before, that was exciting. "Where does she live?" Jim asked, Sebastian standing behind him, still trying to figure out how a bodyguard should look. In the films they had suits and sunglasses and crossed their arms but all Sebastian had was an umbrella and a rubber band gun tucked into his back pocket so he just crossed his arms instead. One out of three wasn't that bad.

Isaac dug in his pocket and gave him a paper with an address, saying "I wrote it down because I didn't want to remember it, I… Your coat looks really stupid."

"I know, mum bought it," Jim said quickly, cheerily and all three boys laughed. Jim stuffed the address into his pocket and took a breath. "I'll take your three and a half pounds, but the job will cost at least seven pounds."

Isaac looked at him wearily and sighed. "Okay. Can I give it to you later?"

Jim glanced at Sebastian for reassurance, though he didn't need it, and nodded. Isaac let out a sigh of relief and grinned at them and turned on his heel, pausing and turning to look at Jim.

"The family is going out this evening to a restaurant, uh, if that's helpful," Isaac mumbled and Jim giggled.

"Of course it's helpful! Thanks for your business," he called after Isaac and turned away, taking Sebastian's hand. "Come on, now we can go to the sweets shop."

\---

Jim bought a handful of hard candies and Sebastian bought chocolate. They brought their goods back to Sebastian's house and hid in his room before Sebastian's sisters or his parents could find them and ask them questions.

Jim unwrapped a candy and stuck it in his mouth. He was convinced it helped him think, the sweetness and the sucking. He peeled his coat off his skin and ignored it when Sebastian stripped to his underwear to get out of his muddy clothes. Sebastian sat down to him a minute later, after Jim had started writing stray ideas down in the notebook he kept at Sebastian's. It was his work notebook and he was too afraid that his parents would see it if he kept it his own house.

"What're you doing?" Sebastian asked looking over Jim's shoulder, licking chocolate off of his fingers. He was wearing a red t-shirt with a dragon on it and jeans now.

"Charts and things," Jim answered. He took the address out of his pocket and looked at it. It was a long walk from Jim's house over there, it was even further from Sebastian's house. It would take them at least half an hour each way which meant an hour of walking, plus the time of the break in.

"I think we're going to have to pull a sleep over plot," Jim said after a minute of thinking. Jim would tell his mum he was sleeping over at Sebastian and Sebastian would tell him mum he was sleeping over at Jim's. They'd done it a few times before, but mostly only because they could, not for any actual reason.

"Do you have any sleeping bags, then? One of my sister's threw them out so dad wouldn't take us camping," Sebastian replied, reaching over and trying to snatch one of Jim's hard candies, which were laying in a neat stack next to his foot. Jim smacked his hand playfully and both boys giggled.

"I think I can find something," Jim hummed quietly when they were done laughing.

\---

Jim and Sebastian met back at the office near half past three. Jim had brought a sleeping bag and Sebastian had brought a pad for them to sleep on.

"I could only find one so we can share tonight," Jim announced and Sebastian grinned.

"Good, because I could only find one pad."

They held hands as they walked to Isaac's house. The family was still there, but they left at about four-thirty, which was great luck because Sebastian had been starting to squirm and get impatient and Jim didn't want to have to keep him entertained while he waited for the family to leave.

It was easy to break in. they had left the door unlocked, which, thinking about it, was a  bit of an anti-climax. Breaking in was always the funnest part in movies and comics. All they had to do was open a door and not track mud inside, which was easy.

Though, the job was still exciting. Jim's hands were nearly shaking and he had to focus so he didn't start breathing strangely. Sebastian seemed more calm about all of this, though, he had a rock to hit anyone with in case they attacked, though it was mostly to just make him feel useful.

It was easy to find the girl's room, since it was the pink one, the one with glittery stickers on the wall and posters of boys. Jim guessed she was older, maybe thirteen or fourteen. He could find out more if he wanted, but he didn't care. He started taking stuffed animals on her bed and throwing them around. Sebastian moved to the closet and pulled out jewelry and dumped it on the floor and grabbed books off the shelves.

"Ransack just mean mess things up, right?" Sebastian called over his shoulder and Jim let out a long suffering sigh.

"Yeah. Don't take anything without asking me," Jim replied, opening the girl's dresser and pulling out panties and bras and throwing them on the floor.

Sebastian toed and under garment with his foot and snarled. "Ew."

"Oh, shush," Jim scolded, messing up neatly folded t-shirts covered in sequins and song lyrics.

When the room looked perfectly messied Jim looked at his handiwork and grinned. Sebastian was pouting next to him, he thought ransacking meant breaking things too and he'd really wanted to break something, but Jim just told him breaking things would be rude.

"Can we go now?" Sebastian asked and Jim took his hand again. He wasn't sure why he liked holding Sebastian's hand, but it was something grown-ups did sometimes and it felt nice, Sebastian's hands were nice.

"Do you have any money? We could find a store and get crisps for dinner."

Sebastian dug in his pocket with his free hand and pulled out a five- pound note. Jim nodded and they both set out of house, hearts pounding, feet beating on the pavement as they got as far way from the house as they could.


	2. Chapter 2

It had started raining again by the time they got back to the office. Immediately, they grabbed their sleeping bag and mat and started running to Jim's house. It was their back up plan, there was an empty shed in Jim's backyard that was only slightly leaky and would be a lot less wet than just sleeping outside, they should have thought about that before deciding to sleep in the office.

When they got there, they were both shivering and soaked the bone. Sebastian laid out the mat and Jim unzipped the sleeping bag so they could use it as a blanket over the both of them.

"I'm cold," Sebastian whined and Jim thought. Sebastian couldn't be cold.

They could start a fire, but then the smoke would get caught in the ceiling and someone might smell it and they'd get in trouble.

Jim grinned and started peeling off his shirt, then his shoes.

"What are you doing?" Sebastian asked exasperatedly, thinking this was one of Jim's stupid ideas like the time he thought they should go swimming in the pond at the park and had both gotten stomach aches from bacteria in the water.

"If we take of our wet clothes and get under the sleeping bag then we'll warm up," Jim promised and started shimmying out of his trousers, leaving his pants on because well, he was eight years old, he had _some_ modesty.

Sebastian looked at him like he was crazy for a moment, then sighed and took off his shirt. He trusted Jim and he didn't know why Jim would want him close to naked for any other reason, so he took off his jeans too.

They curled up under the sleeping bag, pulling it tight around them both and soon they had stopped shiver, Jim's chest pressed to Sebastian's back. It was nice being close like this, a comfortable contact.

"Sweet dreams," Jim muttered before they both fell asleep, the day fresh in their heads, both dreaming about ruling the world.

\---

Sebastian and Jim had a routine they did after finishing a job. Sebastian would sit down and Jim would tell him what he'd done and how he could improve as a body guard and Sebastian would say how they could make the jobs better.

Usually they did this in the office, but today they did it still half asleep, laying next to each other and listening to the birds outside.

"You shouldn't talk as much. A good bodyguard is seen, not heard," Jim told Sebastian who frowned.

"I thought that was girls," he answered.

"And bodyguards."

"What about girl body guards?"

That made Jim pause and think a bit.

"I think they're especially quiet," Jim answered after a moment and Sebastian nodded knowingly.

"Well… I think we could have charged more," Sebastian suggested and Jim sighed.

"Yeah, we could've easily gotten ten quid off him. Drat."

Sebastian laughed and Jim joined him.

"Job well done, yeah?" Sebastian said and Jim nodded and repeated the phrase.

"Yeah. Job well done."


End file.
